This past weekend I was passing next to the Moma (Museum of modern art) in New York. I saw some design books in the museum store adjacent to the actual huge museum, and walked in to check out the latest books on design. I found this book on the shelf, and giggled when I saw the title,
“Modern Art explained, why your 5-year old could not have done that”
There were other similar books whose existence is to ‘explain’ art to you, the casual art observer.
I dislike ‘modern’ art because of things like this. If something is art, it does not have to be ‘explained’, it explains itself. It will inspire feelings inside of you just by looking at it. Botticelli does not have to be explained. Monet does not have to be explained.. You get the point.
The reason why this type of modern art is bullshit is because its not art. Its also something made by an extremely lazy person.
Now don’t get me wrong, not all ‘modern’ art is the same. For example this piece of artwork is considered modern art, but this fantastic illustration of movie characters from Point Break isn’t lazy nor does it have to be ‘explained’. This is art in full sense of the word.
But back to the book. The book attempts to show different examples of modern art and then explains why a child count not have created something similar. The premise is ludicrous and comical enough, but where it gets bizarre is the way the book sets a serious and authoritative tone on commenting the supposed genius of the artist.
Some examples from the book, read the ridiculous commentary below each ‘art’ work.
Yeah, none would do so because unlike adults, children don’t try to blatantly bullshit each other. The only inspiration I feel from this work is the inspiration to replace it with something better and more meaningful.
“Artworks cannot last forever.. where man ends, infinity begins”
This kind of pretentious non-sense reminds me of Mike Meyers sketches on Saturday night live, where he played Deiter, the German TV critic on a TV show Sprockets, where Dieter often said similar meaningless non-sense in order to inflate his sense of self-importance.
Some of Dieter’s quotes that are remarkably similar to the bullshit written in this book:
“Genius! By seemingly embracing the cliches of the vest, he is underscoring its excruciating banality.”
“Yes, Ve are doomed and I am filled with remorse, and it is most delicious.”
The guys cleaning windows in my apartment building draw better looking and more meaningful swirls with Windex than this ‘artist’. I’ll tell you one thing, I certainly get feelings of loss and hopelessness looking at this thing and imagining people paying large sums of money to hang this atrocity in their living rooms and galleries.
The only way someone can get a spiritual feeling by looking at a yellow box with a white line across is if they are a starving chimp with hallucinations of bananas.
I dont know if a 5 year old child could design this modern classic thermal carafe (below), but it seems a bit pricey for a piece of shiny plastic. Modern art is expensive!